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Authentic self





Living a life of authenticity is a constant effort, especially for a survivor of abuse. For myself, my perception of me growing up is that I am no better than the dirt under your shoe (polite version). A nothing, full of poison. I believed that and even now that version of me rears its head at times.

When we are being authentic, we are being vulnerable, we are showing all the parts of us, the good with the bad. When we do this, we allow for better relationships, and for true acceptance and unconditional love. If you can develop a self-awareness, then you can know your truest self.

This is a tough thing to do for a survivor, when you are spending so much of your time suppressing your emotions and intuition, trying to meet the expectations of others, or go after the goals you are supposed to want.





Brene Brown says: -


In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.

When you betray yourself to fit in, you wind up feeling isolated and alone. Feelings of guilt, shame and low self-esteem are the result when you are not true to yourself…..

That is when you need to look inwards and ask yourself, “What does it mean for me to be authentic?”


We are programmed by every moment of our lives, which means none of us are the same. As a child you are completely at the mercy of your caregivers and the environment as to what is inputted into our brains. What is inputted becomes our version of reality. Once this is set and, in my case, I was being indoctrinated through the lens of my abusers, it becomes reinforced over a lifetime. This was so until now when I am aware of my abusers lies and so I have to change that in my brain that was programmed.


• When you are true to yourself you gain confidence in your abilities and decisions, which lead to a more satisfying and successful life.


• Being authentic helps you cultivate emotional resilience and face challenges with a positive outlook.


• Self-care plays an important part too. Focusing on your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing helps you better understand your needs and desires.


Physical self-care

Engage in regular exercise, eat balanced diet, and get enough sleep to maintain a healthy body and mind.


Emotional self-care

Understand and express your emotions in a healthy way. Be compassionate towards yourself and seek out supportive relationships with others.


Mental self-care

Manage stress by practicing mindfulness, meditation, or other relaxation techniques that you prefer. Challenge negative self-talk.


Speak up for yourself

Ask for what you want and maintain your boundaries, especially around the level of energy you can handle being around or taking in.


Listen to your intuition.

Listen to what your inner voice says as often as possible. Allow your core values and true nature to guide your decisions, rather than responding out of habit or what you think will please others.


Listen to your inner voice, the voice that gives you the belief in you, the voice that says you do not need to be validated, that voice that gives you the confidence to be your authentic self. That self that is YOU…….. An incredibly good friend continually tells me BELIEVE. Give yourself the belief, that you are your truest self.


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