I know I am not responsible for the abuse I suffered that lies entirely in the hands of my abusers. What I am responsible for is my own recovery from that trauma, and being responsible for me in my life following that time. Don’t be afraid of questioning your every move, even challenge them. That way the outcome will develop and grow with it’s ups and downs. Ultimately you will forge a life safe free from abuse and being responsible in giving yourself what you truly deserve.
When you look closer at the word responsibility, you will notice that it is made up of two root words, RESPONSE AND ABILITY. You can choose your response to any and all things that take place in your life. You have free will and can take actions which will create the results that you desire.
By taking responsibility for your life you not only gain control of what happens. It also becomes natural to feel like you deserve more in life as your self esteem builds. To do this you first have to feel worthy of a good life to make better decisions. You can start building a stability within and a sort of inner spring that fuels your life with positive emotions no matter what other people say or do around you.
There may be some people who avoid taking responsibility for their lives because they have self-limiting beliefs. Therefore, they may feel as though they don’t deserve better. Remember that it’s ok to be selfish sometimes. You can’t give love and support to others if you aren’t providing it for yourself. Prioritise yourself by practicing self-care, by doing this you can improve your confidence and understand that you have the final say in how you want your life to go. Examples of self-care activities can include, meditation, gardening, journaling, self-compassion, instil positive self-talk. Don’t feel guilt and resentment, feel gratitude for learning the lesson. Instead of feeling as though you’ve wasted your time, find the wisdom in all that you’ve discovered about yourself. Having that shift in perspective is a potent action to take when you take responsibility for your life.
I mentioned about instilling self-talk, but I know as a survivor until I was able to go through healing and taking responsibility for my recovery, I had a huge amount of negative self-talk because of my childhood trauma of abuse. Those negatives came from a place, a judgement that others have thrown at me. Being indoctrinated into believing I was literally a nothing and full of poison and only here to serve my abusers. All of that I had internalised, and those words were ingrained in my mind. It is only with the help of having trauma informed support that I was able to dispel those negatives about myself.
Accepting personal responsibility is recognising that the Calvary isn’t coming. While you may and will need help of others to reach your goals, the onus is on you to orchestrate your own rescue. This is also a way to stop relying on external validation like praise from other people to feel good about yourself.
This is all taking responsibility for you…. YOU ARE YOUR OWN CAREGIVER…. YOU DESERVE TO SELF LOVE & TO BE LOVED....